We lose Fitfinder


University College London officials have forced the popular student website Fitfinder  to close.

The website, set up to allow flirtatious messaging between students, achieved 5 million hits despite only being open for four weeks.

Shortly after UCL student Rich Martell founded Fitfinder, the site became an instant success as users posted online about sightings of attractive strangers.

Despite its popularity among the student population, however, UCL was less than impressed by the site.

They fined Martell £300 for the supposed damage the site had done to the university’s reputation, with the warning that failure to pay would result in his degree results being withheld.

Pressure from other universities who claimed that the site was affecting students’ work ethic meant that Martell has now agreed to take the site down.

The move has been met with outrage from students across the country, and a Facebook page to “Save Fitfinder” already has over 1600 fans.

“UCL is clearly only opposing it because its sexually deprived professors were spending too long on it trying to find fitties” wrote one student on the Facebook wall.

Ed Chalk, an English finalist at Brasenose, was shocked to hear of the site’s closure.

“I’m devastated. I have incurably bad taste in women, so I rely on Fit Finder to help me identify suitable targets. Without it, I’m a sexual Stevie Wonder,” Chalk said.

But the site has not always been used for its intended function.

One student at Cardiff described how her friends would often post descriptions of one another ending in a cheesy innuendo, e.g “Boy wearing brown jumper, sexy reading classes, working in library, oh I sure would work him” merely as a prank.

She went on to say that many students at her university library admitted to wearing better clothes and making more effort with hair and make-up specifically in case they later found themselves mentioned on Fitfinder.

One second year PPE-ist at Magdalen said, “I think that it is entirely ridiculous to force fit finder to close because it is ‘distracting’ and yet Facebook is deemed fine. Realistically, my life will be wasted on Facebook, not FitFinder.”

A fourth year Classicist said, “As far as I’m concerned the closing down of Fit-Finder is a small victory for the shy people who prefer to just stare at gorgeous people in the library and touch ourselves. I mean themselves.”

Visitors to the site are currently faced with an invitation to “take back what is noble and good” by signing an online petition to bring FitFinder back into action. The petition so far has 7403 signatures.


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