Hi, I’m Jacob Black. I live in La Push with the rest of the Quileute Tribe and I can morph into a wolf.
While I’m waiting for Renesmee, the recently born girl whom I’m madly in love with, to grow up, I want you to know I’m back on the market. So here are a few items on the long list of why you should hop on the Jacob bandwagon and quit Team Edward:
First of all I can’t wear much clothing as it’s such a hassle having to carry it around when I transform so I’m pretty much naked most of the time. That’s right, a near seven-foot masterpiece of bare muscle to taunt your senses.
Secondly, my warm wolf body is great for snuggles and cuddles. Recall the time when Victoria was coming with the newborns to fight the Cullens, and Bella is hiding in a tent in the mountains with Edward. Snow is falling, and Bella is close to catching pneumonia in the bitter cold.
As a vampire constantly cold to the touch, Edward was powerless to help. The wolf blood flowing through me, however, could heat her shivering body. So if, unlike me, you don’t spend most of your time in hot flushes then contemplate this human radiator.
Thirdly, I’m clean. Edward had to cut off his long locks because he had head lice, as his on screen actor Robert admitted: “I got a terrible infestation of nits and I had to shave it all off.” Gross. As a wolf I have learned to lick my body clean, so no worries in that department.
Team Jacob has suffered big blows at the hands of vampire enthusiasts; those leech lovers that once fawned over Angel (and the creepy few seduced by Spike) that now set their sights on Edward.
As I said to Bella in Eclipse, “He’s like a drug but I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun.”
Think about this when you make your choice. Life should not be based on an addiction; sometimes the safe option is what you need.