Satire and Student Features
The trashed boy with a squid on his head. I think once you’ve washed your hair we should go out. From the blonde girl who looked disgusted xo
Maths lecture girl. I less than three you (<3, get it?). It’s almost the end of term. Turn around and chat before the summer divides us x
Dear Hugh Grant. I felt a real connection when our eyes met across the Risa dancefloor. I think it might have been love, actually xxxxx
Stunning rower twins. I was waiting for you in Kukui. Summer Eights is over, guys. See you this week? x
To the beautiful medic with the excellently (ill-)fitting blouse revising cancer in the RSL. Could you ameliorate my “sudden growth”? xxx
Rowing blazer boy from Oriel. Your stroke made my night xxx
Gutted you missed your chance with that girl whose smile kindled flames of passion in the Bod?
Genuinely lost the number of the guy you got off with in the corner of Park End?
The Oxford Student can help!
Email firstname.lastname@example.org with a description of your lost potential love.
(No stalkers please.)