Overheard at Oxford Uni: Week 7

“Reading the back of a pack of Twining’s herbal tea is like listening
to Stephen Fry speaking to your soul.”

“Don’t get hit by a car, you’re in drag!” Just like your mother always warned you.

In the prescription medication section of Boots:
Couple: “We just want to take someone out.”
Assistant: “Oh, yeah, we can get rid of someone for you.”
(Admittedly they were heading towards the photo printing section…)

“Do women get masters?” No, they just polish them for their husbands.

Sign in shop on Cornmarket Street; “EVERYTHING must Go! One day Only!” In small print: “selected items only”.

Two freshers, one male and one female:
Female: “Wait, what are we talking about. lesbians or sheep?”
Male: “We don’t hit on sheep.”

At a backyard Pimm’s party, talking about how the status of being a Jew is passed on across matrilineal heritage:
“I’ve seen Twilight. I know how Jews work.”

“If I get a hard-on, something is going to rip!”

“If I wasn’t awake, I’d be SO asleep…” An eternal Oxford dilemma

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