Back in the days before Twitter, rickrolling, Robot Unicorn Attack and iPlayer there was a behemoth that strode across the internet, a vast empire whose reign it seemed would never end. Yet like all superpowers its dominance could not last forever and now all that is left of the once mighty Myspace are a bunch of unused profiles of sixteen year olds whose last wall post was at Christmas 2007.
This month Myspace announced that it was halving its staff, having previously laid off 30% of its workforce eighteen months before. But perhaps the most depressing sign of Myspace’s decline was the ‘much-hyped’/almost entirely ignored ‘Mash Up with Facebook’. And it’s those words ‘Mash Up’ that show where it’s all gone wrong for Myspace. Looking round my space (see what I did there…) is sort of like watching an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air in the late 1990s, thinking ‘Christ, is that only four years old?’ And for the fluorescent t-shirts of Will Smith read the HTML designed profiles of people who clearly have no idea about programming. But heck you could always download a dark background, because nothing says moody intellectual like a black background. And nothing says ‘I’m actually a thirteen year old girl’ like an atmospheric profile picture that shows the back of your head.
So Myspace’s slow death should be greeted with sighs of relief. Opening a door to see your sixteen year old self is not something any of us need. I can only hope they get round to deleting my profile so that I need never see an about me blurb in which I claim to be ‘a timeless eccentric’ and ask people to add me on MSN messenger. Thank god for Facebook, because only he knows how we ever coped with this virulent disease.