AskStu: Issue 6

Student Life

Q. Which animal has the largest penis in relation to its body size? PPE, New, Second Year

A. It is refreshing now and again to remind oneself that throughout these hallowed buildings and dreaming spires are real people, the majority of whom are teenagers or in the embryonic stages of adulthood. Despite personally preferring to furnish my brain with every possible scrap of information, useful or otherwise, about Oxford and the wider world to the joys of vodka-cokes at Juice @ Kukui, I remain cognizant of the activities and interests of the many, viz., if you are a boy, beer and the length of your penis. Clearly our insecure reader wish to reassure himself that it is not a widespread human phenomenon which he has unfortunately missed out on to have astoundingly large genitalia. But, to the business of your enquiry: barnacles, the sly creatures, possess an astonishing phallus to body ratio. And you don’t hear them bragging about drunken Kukui conquests.

Q. What is the difference between a dinner jacket and a tuxedo? English, St Catz, First Year

A. Words can be slippery things and here the answer lies in linguistic rather than sartorial differences. Most inhabitants of the United States term a ‘tuxedo’ what we would refer to simply as a ‘dinner jacket’, although in the North-Eastern portion of the country, ‘dinner jacket’ is still often used. Particularly in America, the term ‘tuxedo’ is generally misused to denote any form of formal or semi-formal dress including white tie, morning dress and strollers, and around the world the word is variously used. However, it does always refer to some form of dinner jacket, and its etymological source is Tuxedo Park in New York, where the fashion is often said to have originated. In Britain, ‘tuxedo’ is sometimes used to refer to the white jacket counterpart to the black dinner jacket. I feel that my erudition is matched only by my style.

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