Students engage in ‘pieings’ to raise money for Clowns in the Sky


Students of Somerville College are being attacked with shaving-foam pies in a bid to raise money for charity.

Students can pay £3 to have the “pie assassins” target any student in college with a pie to the face, though each student can only be targeted a maximum of two times to prevent “victimisation”.

Though the rules were implemented to prevent ”some kind of custard-pie themed orgy”, the assassins have warned that these rules are “fluid” and may be changed “depending on our mood”.

There is the option for students to opt out of the pie-induced mayhem if they so choose.

But if any shrinking violets do decide on that option, they will forfeit the right to sanction the so-called ‘pieings’ on other students.

Somerville charities rep Sophia Godsland said that the charity committee would be using “sneak attacks” on students, and hoped that the first ‘pieings’ would encourage a “chain reaction” as people seek to take revenge on those who targeted them.

Godsland was reluctant to reveal what locations the College dean has allowed people to be pied in, to prevent students from staying in safe areas. She said that since the pies are made with shaving cream rather than real custard, she doesn’t expect people to try to escape any incoming pies “or their stuff will get ruined”.

Not everyone is excited at the thought of being ‘pied’. Amelia Walsh, a second year English student opted out because she thought it would be “humiliating and a bit gross”.

All the money raised will go to Clowns in the Sky, a charity dedicated to the research and treatment of child brain tumours and providing welfare for affected children and their families.

Rumours suggest JCR president David Railton should be particularly careful over the coming days.

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