Q. Why does being bad feel so good? English, 3rd Year, St John’s
A. Abstract debates about moral grey areas, now that’s what I like to see. No, really. All this factual nonsense is just too easy for me to get to grips with – the perverted whims of scrawny pubescent students, now there’s something I will never fully understand. I would ask why it is that you do what you do, but I’m not in the habit of asking questions, so instead I’ll tell you this: the Dalai Lama once said, “It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.” Then again, Rihanna once said “feels so good being bad, there’s no way I’m turning back” – it really depends who you see as the most inspirational of the two.
Q. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? History, 2nd Year, St Anne’s
A. It’s a bit difficult to be funny when it comes to killing, so I’ll get straight to the point. Murder means to kill intentionally and with premeditation. An assassination is the targeted killing of a public figure. How public does one have to be before one is assassinated is an interesting question: is the local councillor important enough to be considered assassinated? Let’s start at the end of the assassination skill: you are definitely not important enough to be assassinated. At the other end, JFK, the President of the United States, certainly is. The importance of a public figure is subjective. I would certainly be assassinated. And on that cheery note, see you next term.