No crowning glory for Wills and Kate

Screen

by Charlotte Turner

Get past the poor dialogue, bad acting and slanderous abuse of the facts and William and Kate: The Movie makes strangely compelling viewing. It was the modern fairytale the likes of which most of us can only dream about, though not entirely removed from life in Oxford – many of the aerial shots of ‘St Andrews’ looked decidedly familiar. Factual accuracy, however, was not a major focus of the film. In Mansfield JCR during a post-wedding screening of the film the most common muttering heard amongst the crowd was “Did that actually happen?”

The film opens with William arriving at university and Kate prancing inanely round campus in lycra, which is pretty surreal. Initially, Kate has a boyfriend, so it seems as though her and ‘Wills’ can only ever be ‘just friends’. Then the boyfriend leaves her, and Will and Kate bond over shooting and an awkward breakfast with Prince Charles. The two, along with assorted toff-ish chums, get a flat together and the tension builds between the two until an excruciating moment over a bin bag. Before you know it, they’re kissing in a bush (in the rain, obviously). But the course of true love never did run smooth;it seems as if the middle-class Middleton is not suitable royal arm-candy.

The film takes the opportunity to have a pop at the press that hounded Kate in the years post-graduation (which seemed a bit rich considering that the tabloids were probably the film’s major source of information). Cue incredulous laughter as Kate sobs into William’s chest that “There’s no guidebook on how to handle this.”

The pace of the film is comfortably swift. To give the filmmakers credit, they did not dwell on any event too long – bar a few too many close-ups of wistful glances. Nonetheless, one scene that was conspicuously underwhelming was that of the infamous fashion show, as Kate dons the notorious dress that caught a prince’s eye. Yet, all that happens is a feeble attempt at a kiss which is swiftly rejected.

Camilla Luddington makes a whiny Kate; a sobbing ‘Waitie Katie’ in a bubble bath, glass of wine in hand, got one of the biggest laughs. New Zealander Nico Evers-Swindell’s portrayal of the prince is forgivable if a little bizarre at points. Hearing the student William say ‘I know, riiiight’ was just plain wrong. Overall, it made an enjoyable watch if only to laugh at the most cringe-worthy moments.

2 Stars