Pornado strikes Corpus

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Students of Corpus Christi are under suspicion, and the carpets lined up for deep cleaning, after a “catastrophic” amount of porn was downloaded on a communal JCR computer this summer.

Following what has been described as “porngate” by students, the computer was removed for cleaning by the college IT department after the “inappropriate” usage led to virus and malware attacks on the system.

Students were notified of the events in an email sent on 21st September by JCR Website and Computing Officer Gareth Langley: “The JCR computer has been used in an inappropriate manner regularly in the recent past (I think you all know what that means).”

JCR President Jack Evans further outlined the incident in an email sent round to undergraduates: “Watched the film Titanic? It’s like that, but pornographic and on a hardrive.”

“This has resulted in the JCR launching an internal investigation and the IT Cupboard carpets being deep cleaned.”

Langley went on to warn students “If we have to pursue disciplinary action against any JCR member then so be it”.

The computer currently requires no login: however, given recent events Langley explained that this may no longer be the case: “If people cannot use it in a sensible, adult manner then we will have to treat everyone like children and place blocks and/or password protect the system so that we can monitor use.”

While the computer has now been returned to the JCR, students are wary of using it after the traumatic events: Corpus Christi student Sam Kelly noted “Some people used to be scared of going on Facebook in case they forgot to logout- now they’re going to be scared of using that computer at all”.

Third year Jim Everett also condemned the misuse of the computer as “thoroughly reprehensible”. However, while he noted that “stains in the carpet are really hard to get out”, Everett was also concerned over Corpus Christi’s reputation: “It is audacious to only look at straight porn in what is an equal opportunities college”.

While the news of their computer’s fate was greeted with amusement by some undergraduates, Langley remained unmoved: “If I have to waste any more of my time dealing with this I will not be impressed.”

Evans concurred: “In all seriousness- really annoying and a bit creepy. Let’s try not to do it again this term, please.”

PHOTO/The offending computer

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