The Human Centipede 2: Overhyped nonsense

Entertainment

I really wanted to hate this film. I wanted it to be the antithesis of everything I love about cinema. I really hoped that it would be facile and stupid. That it would be unimaginably enamoured by its own childish ‘vision’ of ‘depravity’. That it  would completely lose sight of any semblance of credibility. That Tom Six would finally show once and for all that when it comes to film making he relies on gimmicks and bad publicity to push what is appallingly bad fare to the masses.

It did all of these things and I do hate it. Excellent. Time for a rant I think:

The screenwriting process for the Human Centipede films starts and seemingly ends with the central concept. It’s everything and facilitating it takes up every second of the film. This time round however instead of the three person centipede of the first we are treated to a twelve person monstrosity. Tom Six really is too kind. In scenes reminiscent of Kukui on a particularly bad evening the first half of the film is largely taken up with backstory and protagonist Martin capturing his victims who once caught are thrown into a grimey warehouse where they writhe around in a state of undress being indiscriminately groped by a sweaty creep. So far so horrible. The second half of the film lives up to the title and people defecate into each other’s mouths quite a bit. The second half of the film isn’t very nice…

From interviews one gets the impression that if Tom Six’s mouth was sewn to his ass you would create an endless feedback cycle of shit that may end the universe. But the rubbish he comes out with in interviews pales in comparison to what we puts on screen. To Six’s credit there is the impression that he is trying to intellectualise proceedings somewhat. He strains for psychological cause for Martin’s actions. That he goes about this with fists of ham and with his patented subtlety ringing in your bleeding ears (God there’s a lot of screaming in this film) is unsurprising. Physical abuse, check. Sexual abuse as a child, check. A sexually deviant psychologist who takes an unhealthy interest in our most bulbous of protagonists, check. An overbearing mother, check. Socially isolated, check. It’s like an unholy amalgamation of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Psycho, only this time written and directed by a moronic scat fetishist.

Great horror can play to our greatest fears through using subtlety, restraint and most crucially a bit of intelligence. In a masterful film such as The Orphanage there are scenes like the one in which a mother discovers the fate of her lost son in a heartbreaking twist of fate that ties the plot together in a beautifully unexpected and undeniably horrendous way. It’s clever, horrific, terribly sad and an excellent piece of cinema. Tom Six’s latest offering however has a scene in which a new born baby’s head is enthusiastically depicted being accidentally crushed by its distressed, bleeding and naked mother. What a massive pile of fetid cack The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence is.

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