Ahmed’s absence explained

This week saw the return of Ahmed’s kebab van to the High Street, marking the end of a dark and difficult period in the lives of Oxford students.

Ahmed’s kebab van returned to Oxford on 20th January, with most students having already been back for around two weeks. At first, worried students put it down to “traffic” or perhaps extended New Year’s celebrations, but when hours turned to days and days turned to a week, many had to resort to Mehdi’s for their late- night essay-crisis or post-Park End portion of cheesy chips.

Explaining his absence, Ahmed said that he “normally comes back a couple of days before term starts” but in December was “misinformed by some students that term started on the 20th […] and this led to a miscalculation,” which meant that his holiday in sunny Morocco lasted throughout 0th week. Ahmed also stated that he was “glad to be back” whilst simultaneously serving a coveted Univ/ Teddy Hall special.

Josh Calder-Travis, a second year at University College, commented that “Ahmed’s van is the core of Univ… Life was a little bleaker without him during those two weeks,” to which his room-mate Joe Prentice, added: “Yes… he’s a beautiful, beautiful man.”

It wasn’t just students who missed Ahmed’s. For Zeb Alam, part of the management of Royal Executive Cars, Ahmed’s has been the go-to place for a late night snack for the past 25 years. Alam swore that he went “nowhere else” in the few weeks that Ahmed’s was absent, confidently declaring that there was no other place that had reasonable prices, speedy and friendly service and food “cooked the right way”.

On further enquiry, it was revealed that the students who misinformed Ahmed were from Oxford Brookes as their term commenced on the 20th. As one student posted on Facebook on the night of his return: “Crikey, Ahmed’s back and the drunks are swarming…”