Malcontent: The Comment Section

News

Well would you look at that. All those smug, witty, overbearing little opinionated teenagers trying so hard to be ironic and sophisticated that they couldn’t find their own opinion with both hemispheres if you drew them a map.

As though those twats who write essay-length comments on online articles aren’t enough, it suddenly seems to be decided that they require an entire section of an otherwise reputable newspaper. Who first decided that reams of information weren’t enough and we needed pages of eloquent comment to accompany them?

It’s like newspapers suddenly decided it was far too much effort for the little minds of its readership to come up with their own thoughts on the news. We’re apparently meant to read through the news section carefully keeping the opinion making part of our nervous system inactive, to be filled in later by the newspaper itself. Knowledge and viewpoint, buy one get one free! After all, how would we know that our own thoughts were right?? It’s not like we write well-informed and thoughtful essays each week or anything. Much better to nab someone else’s thoughts. After all, they’ll be an *cough* expert.How are we supposed to know if Britain could win the second Falklands War, or if anti-Zionism is anti-Semitic, or exactly what the most intelligent approach to evangelism is? We’ll be better off reading the opinion of sickeningly sure-of-themselves students, who, I imagine, are told each week to form an opinion on something they know nothing about and get writing an article sharpish.

So I urge you, dear reader, to ignore every overbearing opinion the OxStu has to offer. Tear out the Comment Section if you like (but keep the page with Focus on the other side – and the cartoon’s sometimes quite funny).  Who are these over-opinionated writers to tell you what to think? Form your own opinion, be a free thinker. But God forbid that I should tell you what to do. After all, I’m just a smug, witty, overbearing and opinionated teenager trying so hard to be ironic that I couldn’t find my own opinion with both hemispheres if you drew me a map. So what do I know?