Aggie and Edna on… Anal

Student Life

Our pseudonymous bluestocking sexplorers consider the ups and downs of putting things up your bum.  

When engaging in anal sex it is vital to remember the inescapable role played by the excretory opening of the digestive system. In other words there will be poo. So, if you are anal about cleanliness, anal sex may not be for you.

While Aggie enjoys anal as an ‘occasional humorous alternative to period sex ’, Edna is more reticent- she fears mess and pain. Currently, her anal virtue is untainted.

The conversations we have been having about overcoming Edna’s anal anxieties  have resulted in a handful of tips we feel may be useful for any readers who wish to tentatively explore  each others colons.

Whereas enemas and douching are not par for course, aiming a shower head briskly at the back door before beginning will prevent gratuitous levels of shit. Also, a word of warning: do not attempt anal with a bulging colon, unless scatological is what you’re going for. (but we’ll save that for a later column).

Rimming (licking the anus) is optional but suggests a more intimate experience- don’t attempt with a stranger you met in park end. If you are going to rim, approach as you would a tiny puckered vagina.

For those Edna’s amongst us, for whom rimming sounds like a grotesque transgression of taste and decency  an alternative method for broaching the rear frontier is to explore gently with fingers before the main insertion- fingers, penis, strap on or whatever object you are using. A word of warning. Wine bottles should only be used by the advanced.

Next- LUBE. Lots of it. Oh, and poppers can be used for those who want   that retro  80’ vibe.  Why not put them to a better use than getting high at the back of a  chemistry class age fourteen?

But can you take it up the bum for sisterhood? Porn has arguably contributed to the popularity of anal sex . While aspiring to be a drugged up Californian thruster may be a  limited version of sexuality , we firmly believe that  anal can  be a tool of the revolution. Pegging, men getting boned by strap on wielding females, is a great way of subverting normative gender roles whilst also experiencing a night of prostate related fun. Even Usher has experienced the delights of taking it up the ass from his wife.

 

Anal sex is on the rise. A study in 1992 suggested that 16 percent of 18- 24 year olds had engaged in anal sex, a recent study cites the figure as  closer to  40 percent. Inspired by porn or liberating and subversive, however you look at it, people who have had anal sex tend to do so more than once. A third of the woman who have popped their ass cherry say they have experienced a good old bumming in the last month. So clearly the appeal extends beyond a one off.

But how to go about breaking the mental and physical barriers of the conceptual butt hymen? To Ednas’ qualms about pain, Aggie assures all anal virgins that  it probably will hurt, but in a hot way. Maybe. Like with losing your virginity the old fashioned way, the more time you spend in preparation, the less it will hurt when you actually fuck.  Aggie says of the initial moments- ‘it felt somewhat akin to taking a dump backwards’. Ummmm Edna could conceive of this as a worthwhile experience. So, All in all, swing away .What’s the worst that could happen?… Anal prolapse.