Santa fills Univ stockings

Mumblings of pencil sharpeners, pyjama onesies, and more generally, anything costing under £5 which nobody really wants are to be heard around Univ as students prepare to dig deep to spread a bit of Oxmas cheer.

A plethora of tacky presents are due to be exchanged as part of a JCR-wide Secret Santa organised for 8th week in University College, amongst copious amounts of mulled wine, mince pies and cheesy Christmas music.

The Secret Santa, which is being organised by Univ Charities Rep, Polina Ivanova, is set to involve the exchanging of over 270 presents, and will take place before the Christmas Formal Hall on Tuesday of 8th week.

The idea was first put to the JCR at the beginning of November by the Charities Reps, stating that “it would take place in year groups, have a spending limit of £5 and all the presents would be given out on one day in the last week of term from the Christmas tree in the JCR.”

The Secret Santa will be preceded by traditional carols in the quad.

An anonymous Univ student commented that it was a “creative and inventive way of bringing people together”, although they expressed concern there was a risk it might serve to highlight the division within the JCR if “some people are given a name that they don’t recognise.”

A 2nd year student, who wished not to be named for fear of spoiling the anonymous element of the Secret Santa, said:

“This just makes me even more excited for Oxmas. When the mulled wine is flowing, and the JCR Christmas tree is up, there’s nothing that could bring me down.

“It’s not every day that you get to give out an anonymous pack of laxatives, without fear of repercussions.”

Alex Lynchehaun, a PPE finalist, was enthusiastic about taking part. He said: “The JCR Secret Santa gives you the chance to buy a surreal gift for someone you haven’t spoken to in three years. If that doesn’t epitomise the Oxmas spirit, I don’t know what does.”

Other ideas for presents mentioned by members of the JCR included a copy of ‘Bill Oddie’s Birds of Britain and Ireland’, the puzzlingly raunchy game of ‘Buckaroo for Adults’ and stick-on moustaches to replace “numerous disgusting attempts made this Movember”.

An opt-out option was provided for the Scrooges amongst Univ JCR who do not wish to take part in the Secret Santa, yet only about 40 students opted-out of the Oxmas event.

When contacted by the Oxford Student, Polina Ivanova explained that a large majority of these opt-outs were due to 3rd years being on their year abroad.

All proceeds raised by the sale of mulled wine and mince pies will be donated to RAG, the OUSU charity fundraising organization.