The Oxford Blues thrashed rivals Brookes in the second annual Xchanging Varsity football match, with a streaker stealing the headlines once again.
For the second year running a naked fan emerged from the away end and ran around the pitch before disappearing towards the Iffley Road and freedom. Unfortunately for Brookes their defence was as limp and lifeless as exhibitionistâs display with countless errors punished by their victorious hosts.
This fixture may not command the tradition and authority of the more celebrated Varsity but the 5-2 scoreline served as the perfect warm-up for a trip to the other place.
âBoth teams are desperate to win,â asserted Blues and Oxford United coach Micky Lewis ahead of the game. âThis is great preparation for Cambridge.â
As for the Bluesâ noisy neighbours, coach Dan Bond simply stated, âThis game means a lot to me, and probably more to the players. Itâs the biggest game they will play in their livesâ.
Behind the two benches the ground was packed out by âDan Bondâs Barmy Armyâ, the vocal and impressive away support, who immediately began singing âKeep the Brookes flag flying highâ to the tune of âThe Red Flagâ.
âItâs like West Ham-Millwall,â one of the self-styled Brookes Ultras eagerly claimed before kick-off.
However, the hilarity did not stop with the âUltrasâ of Headington and Harcourt Hill. The officials, who came out to warm up did so with a small child joining in. âLooks like the ref canât get a babysitter,â grumbled one Blues fan. This proved not to be the case, as Tom Haddrell, 11 years old, proceeded to run the line for the whole 90 minutes with the youngster claiming to be in his third year of officiating. If Haddrell appears in the Premier League, you heard it here first.
When the game eventually got underway it began with a bang. Barely two minutes in, a catastrophically poor touch by the Brookes left back gifted wing-man Ed Grimer with an early goal. Iffley erupted, temporarily drowning out the Brookes fans.
The Oxford crowd was subjected to prolonged class-based chanting, including such gems as, âDoes your butler know youâre here?â and âWill your chauffeur pick you up?â but the Blues kept the home faithful happy by keeping the scoreboard ticking over.
Mark Jamison, in only his second outing for the Blues, met an Alex Biggs corner powerfully to score. This was followed up by more defensive errors from Brookes, with a misguided header back to the goalkeeper rewarding the hard running of Peder Beck-Friis with an opportunity to increase the lead.
The Swedish striker had to work hard for his debut Varsity goal, bravely stooping amongst the flying boots to head home his fourth of the season.
The Blues seemed content to let their pressing game in the midfield provide them with chances from Brookes errors and cede much of the possession to the men in the green and white kit. Brookesâ misery was further compounded when Julian Austin coolly side-footed another past the hapless Brookes custodian on 30 minutes. This finally brought the Blues fans to life, with the ball shepherded back to the centre spot amid chants of âyour teamâs embarrassingâ.
The first half was typified by a competent Blues team which took their chances, kept their shape and defended well.
Brookes, on the other hand, imploded under the Iffley Road lights. Perhaps Dan Bondâs comments said it all. Such terrible errors and poor marking from corners belie a team which is otherwise doing fairly comfortably in division two of the BUCS league. Maybe the noisy neighbours wanted it too much. Whatever the explanation, the game was effectively over after half an hour.
This did nothing to deter the Brookes fans. On 40 minutes, after some time spent abusing Bluesâ right back Michael Moneke, the chant went up: âLetâs pretend weâve scored a goalâ, followed immediately by the sight of the Poznan on the Iffley terraces.
Brookes responded immediately, scoring from a soft free kick from the edge of the Blues box. The men from Brookes went crazy as the consolation went in. This did nothing to prevent the Bond from ordering the whole Brookes bench to warm up at the break.
The second half by contrast was something of a let down. Whilst no one expected another five goals, both teams seemed to be content to let the game play out, with neither Brookes nor the Blues really pushing on for glory.
This was until the referee decided to award Brookes perhaps the softest penalty Iffley has ever seen. Dispatched, the game still refused to sparkle, with Brookes unable, seemingly, to chase the game. Any possibility of a miracle was killed when Adam Healy glanced home another Biggs free-kick.
However, the game got progressively nastier, with the referee refusing to book a Brookes midfielder after kicking a prostrate Blues player. Moneke was also repeatedly the subject of late challenges, which were the only contribution from the Brookes left winger throughout the game.
In reality, the second half went to the fans. Brookes gave us the surreal gem that is âShoes up, if you love the Brookesâ, brandishing their footwear at Blues fans, to be met with âYouâve only got one pairâ. As the game descended into crash and bang football, the fansâ antagonism increased. âIâd rather be in Baghdad than in Brookes,â was roared by a small group of Blues fans towards the away end.
So ended an entertaining night. The noisy neighbours routed, the streaker eventually apprehended by the constabulary in the bushes behind the pitch, and OUAFC taking another step towards success.
PHOTO/Matt Handley