Nexus back out on the ‘Lashxone’

pcgn7The creators of ‘Lashzone’, offering services to “get your assignments done in no time”, made a return to Nexus inboxes on Saturday, offering to help students complete their exams.

Under the new name ‘LashXone’, the service invites students to submit their exam date and questions, then to “relax”, as LashXone gets “them done one by one”. It sends them via email, for candidates to “review them in the washroom” before transferring the information to their scripts.

The service claims to go beyond merely answering the questions, also providing “help with extra formulae (for the science kids), some great thesis points (for the arts kids) and even hard calculations done (for those stuck up teachers that wont [sic] allow calculators”.

This comes after emails sent earlier in term which offered to complete assignments and coursework for students in an attempt to “make this painful path of brain torture a bit easier, a path that will get these poor students nowhere but to make them the future slaves of society”.

At the time, The Oxford Student reported that a University spokesperson had made it clear that “anyone who submits plagiarised material as part of their course can expect to be dealt with severely”.

Responding to this statement on the ‘Official Lashzone.com Blog’, Lashzone stated: “Isn’t that a bit harsh? I mean they are already being severely penalized by listening to some “doctor” that can’t tell his left hand from right.”

They also added: “none of our 7000 students have complained about getting caught so far!”

LashXone announced its arrival in defiant fashion, with its introductory email stating: “Here it is. Many profs have been emailing us saying “You will get their assignments done, but what about their tests and exams? How will they accomplish those?” Our response? No Worries!”

It went on to goad its detractors, asking: “Dear profs, where are your sines and cosines to help you now?” The email concluded by encouraging academics to further protest LashXone activities, saying: “Don’t ever stop emailing us, we love them, that’s why LashXone exists, it’s payback time.”

When contacted for comment, a LashXone spokesperson was cryptic about what they would like from students in return for completing their exams, saying: “It’s more about the help rather than the ‘payment’.”

When asked if they had received interest in the new service from students within Oxford, they replied: “Indubitably!”

The email once again raised questions about the security of the Nexus mailing list, with LashXone’s spokesperson claiming they had gained access to the student database the “same way we did last time”.

A University spokesperson said: “While Oxford University has extensive anti-spam defences in place; spammers are constantly adapting their tactics to evade our countermeasures.”

They continued: “IT Services have to balance the risks of spam attacks against the risks of disruption to legitimate email traffic.  Unfortunately this means that it is inevitable that some spam will get through the defences – this particular set of messages was just one of hundreds of spam runs that hit the University each day, and often many runs come from the same source.”

The spokesperson also responded specifically to the emails sent out by LashXone: “IT Services have been in contact with the Proctors’ Office regarding the emails from Lashzone.  We are satisfied that reasonable technical countermeasures are in place, but these are continually reviewed in view of evolving threats.”

Some students were enthusiastic about the service’s claims. Georgina Barker, a St Hugh’s PPEist, said: “I’m so glad LashXone are helping me stick two fingers up to academia by ensuring that I receive an Oxford degree. That’ll teach my professors!”

A St John’s first year, who wished to remain anonymous, was more doubtful about the possibility of LashXone taking off, commenting: “They may have difficulty in finding sufficiently imbecilic looking candidates to convincingly masquerade as the knuckle-dragging neanderthals who would require such a service. I wish them all the best in trawling the genetic cesspool.”