The Emmys are coming! Though here in the UK that means basically nothing, for aficionados of US television it is very good news. This Sunday, the stars and creators of all your favourite illegally streamed TV shows will take to the red carpet at LA’s Nokia Theatre in order to wear really expensive and impractical clothes, pretend that they like each other and hear who will take home those all-important (but like, in the grand scheme of things, entirely meaningless) Emmy awards.
If you’re an Emmy novice, first of all I’d just like to say congratulations on not spending your evenings reading Wikipedia pages about awards ceremonies and trying to find a download link for the new episode of The Mindy Project or whatever. And secondly, because I’m procrastinating (but also because I am the Mother Teresa of student television journalism) I’ve provided you, you lucky, clueless thing, with some general predictions and pointers as to how the night might pan out.
1) Jon Hamm from Mad Men will wear a really nice suit.
He always does. Less of a certainty, however, is a win for my favourite sharp dressed man in the coveted Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series category. Stiff competition includes last year’s winner and owner of the world’s smallest mouth, Damian Lewis (who took the award for his impressive turn in Homeland), and Bryan Cranston, whose zeitgeist-dominating role as Walter White in AMC’s Breaking Bad may just see him snatch the Emmy from beneath everyone else’s noses, even though Hamm has just emerged from perhaps his most deserving Mad Men season yet.
2) Neil Patrick Harris will sing a song.
Host du jour NPH is this year’s chosen emcee, and he will probably do a song because that’s his thing that he does.
3) Game of Thrones won’t do as well as everyone is expecting.
I’ve read a lot of critics recently who are citing 2013 as the year that Game of Thrones could take away the Outstanding Drama Series Emmy. I’d say, don’t count your chickens (or your dragons, HAHA!). Though this year it continued to be the show everybody talked about on a Monday morning, and though the Red Wedding like, fully happened, GoT is still up against shows – like Homeland, Mad Men and Breaking Bad – with far better track records at the Emmys. Considering the current climate, I would be unsurprised if this one went to Breaking Bad, although it is possible that voters will wait until next year to award the show for its final run.
4) The Modern Family juggernaut will be stopped in its tracks (sort of).
This was the first lot of nominations since time began wherein Modern Family did not have all of its adult players nominated for Emmys in the Outstanding Supporting Actor/Actress in a Comedy Series categories. Though I think Julie Bowen – who, as Claire Dunphy is undeniably and accessibly funny – may still be a shoe-in for the Actress award, Supporting Actor could go to Bill Hader (nominated for a great final season on Saturday Night Live), but should belong to Adam Driver for straight up one of television’s best performances on Girls.
5) Louis C.K. will clean up in the comedy categories.
If there’s any justice at all, C.K.’s experimental sitcom Louie will win every award for which it is nominated (including Outstanding Comedy Series). This is fearless television that constantly surprises. It is literally so fantastic that I can’t articulate it properly. That is all.
6) Maggie Smith will win again for being Maggie Smith.
America loves Downton Abbey. I don’t think anybody here cares about it anymore. Either way, this year Emmy voters will almost certainly award Maggie Smith in the Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series category, for her (boring) role as Violet, Dowager Countess McGonagall or whatever, instead of recognising the subtle, multi-faceted talent of Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks, for the second consecutive year. Not that I am bitter about it. And I certainly didn’t turn the telecast off in a fit of pique last year when it happened. Nuh uh.
So. There you have my Emmy predictions. Check back this time next week to see how wrong I was. Although it would probably be worse if I was completely right about everything, because that’d cement my status as someone who knows everything about TV and nothing about how to survive as an adult human in 2013.
PHOTOS// Angela Natividad, Cesar, Richard Burdett, Alan Light