Mystery menace baits JCR Big Dogs

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JCR Presidents have been at the centre of some rather bizarre stories this week. The Oxford Student gives you a run down of three of the best.

Firstly, at the JCR meeting last weekend, St Peter’s voted to enforce a particular sartorial choice upon their President. Navjeev Singh, a second year reading Economics and Management, is now mandated to wear a “funny hat” at all formal meetings.

It was not only a humour quota Singh was told he had to fill: he was also sent the message that “the bigger the better”. No One Direction style snap-backs or American baseball caps, then. Rumour has it that a ten-gallon hat may be in the offing. Expect to see some interesting millinery in the coming weeks.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Teddy Hall were busy playing a pun-related joke on their JCR President. Margery Infield will have her vocal chords tested this term. She been ordered to sing Teddy Bear’s Picnic as much as possible in response to concern that the unofficial college anthem is not being heard enough.

Whenever Infield breaks into tuneful melody, anyone else from college in the vague vicinity is mandated to join in. As yet, there are no plans to actually institute an official Teddy Hall Teddy Bear’s Picnic, but the OxStu’s headline writers will be awaiting the wordplay possibility with baited breath.

Finally, a long, rambling and radical manifesto has been sent to JCR presidents. The email, entitled “Oxford Education and Rebellion”, urges students to embrace the “coming great revolutionary moment”.

One proposed method of enacting such a transformation is for “discussion and debate to burst forth on top of existing maligned education system to help lunch [sic]”. At least we won’t go hungry in the new utopia.

It does seem, though, that the sender was up to date on the latest pet dramas amongst Oxford’s JCRs: “Poor undergraduate…can be characterised as a turtle hatching that scurry [sic] for safety.”

Perhaps Wadham’s now missing tortoise was simply following the example of students in its escape from captivity.

The email is not short of ambition. It wants “student comrades” to appeal to “the queen herself”, who has “the necessary prestige to call for greater cooperation and coordination across the Commonwealth”.

Perhaps the boldest claim of the manifesto, though, comes towards the end: “we want to end ‘old age’”. The details of implementation are presumably left to the JCR presidents.

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