Satire and Student Features
Spotify: The OxStu’s Essay Crisis Playlist
‘Hide and Seek’ – Imogen Heap
You need to start off your night feeling calm and optimistic. Go on, stick this track on and feel good about yourself.
‘In Too Deep’ – Sum 41
On first listen this is a song about a relationship, but with a bit of imaginative interpretation it turns out it’s actually about your rapidly deteriorating evening.
‘Before I Forget’ – Slipknot
Feel yourself flagging? Need picking up? Put on some Slipknot and rock the fuck out before continuing.
‘Work’ – A$AP Ferg
Ferg’s work ethic is a thing to be admired and emulated. If nothing else, this slice of high-octane trap-hop should give you the energy required to get that essay done as $oon as possible.
‘Living on a Prayer’ – Bon Jovi
That second wind, that burst of hope and drive. Take my hand, we’re halfway there…
‘Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want’ – The Smiths
Why did I let this happen? How could I have not done this essay before tonight? Morrissey is here for you, he understands you right now.
‘Insomnia’ – Faithless
You’ve been staring at your laptop screen for about 20 minutes without thinking a single useful thing. This track, again, understands you man.
‘As I Read My S-A’ – Gang Starr
Because proof-reading is important people. The misery doesn’t stop when you write your final word, but jazzy ‘90s hip-hop can make the process easier.
‘Ode to Joy’ – Friedrich Schiller
Nothing but classical music can properly capture the ecstasy that comes with finishing an essay. Stick this on and try not to think about the glaring inconsistencies in your argument.
‘One Day Like This’ – Elbow
You hand the essay in and welcome the morning… But piss off Elbow, there’s no way you’re leaving your bed today.