OUSU candidate promises St Hugh’s monorail

Joke candidate for OUSU President Louis Trup has pledged to make the Radcliffe Camera a club and Camera a library, The Oxford Student can exclusively reveal.

The Brasenose third year’s manifesto, written entirely in crayon, calls for the removal of Fifth Week, “therefore eliminating Fifth Week blues”, as well as the creation of a monorail to St Hugh’s and LMH.

Trup, a Varsity ballroom dancer, is standing for election in the upcoming presidential elections in Sixth Week. For the campaign, he wishes to be known as L.J. Trup.

The pledged monorail, which Trup describes as “like the gazelle [in that] it will be speedy and have cup holders”, has caused excitement amongst the student body.

Harry Krais, a second year at LMH, said: “‘It’s easier to travel to London – it takes 45 minutes to get to Wahoo. Is LMH even a college?’ Finally, thanks to L.J. Trup, we have a prospective OUSU president ready to address all the issues that have been plaguing LMHers for years. We at LMH will be following his campaign closely, and for giving me the chance to hang up my hiking boots, I salute you sir!”

Alice Sandelson, who studies History at St Hugh’s, commented: “Finally, no need to buy a plane ticket to get into town. While we might have to apologise to British Airways, we look forward to zipping up the Banbury road.”

Jamie Murray-Jones, a third year History student at St Hugh’s, was more understated. He simply commented: “I like monorails.”

Trup also has a novel idea to reduce the extra-curricular burden on students’ lives. Claiming that there are “too many societies”, Trup proposes amalgamating them all into “SocSoc, with Abbas Kazmi as President”.
Responding to his position on Trup’s manifesto, Kazmi said: “‘We feel that the collectivisation of societies really is a necessity for the greater good and we will be pursuing a strong M&A policy, that is to say murders and assassinations, moving forward to achieve our aim.

“It has been said that I have many fingers in many pies but I would much prefer to have both fists entirely in one much larger single pie, as Supreme Leader of SocSoc. There’s not a Supreme Leader as fantastiKazmi – an Abbasolutely great choice! So if you want change you can believe in I implore you to vote #LJTrup4ousu4change – Yes we can!”

Trup claims that his accolade as one of the Oxford Tab’s “best clubbers in 2nd week” gave him the idea to swap the functions of the Radcliffe Camera and Camera.

In his blurb, he states: “I come into frequent contact with the student body; the sweaty, gyrating student body. The distance between the clubbing students and the ivory towers is too great. Thus, I propose that we swop the cameras. The Radcliffe Camera will become the home of whatever Varsity Events calls themselves this week, whilst the Camera that we all know and pretend to love will become a haven of quiet study and academia.”

Charlie Silver, a fresher Chemist at Queen’s, said: “In my vast experience of OUSU elections, I have always tended to vote based on those with credentials. Nothing says qualified like a position on the Tab’s best clubbers list. He’s got my vote.”

Trup’s qualificiations, however, are not limited solely to his nightlife exploits. In answering the question “Why LJTrup?”, he adds: “I often wear flip flops” and “I do Geography”.

Susannah Cohen, a third year at Magdalen, was quick to link his academic studies to his pledge to bring about world peace: “As a geographer he must know a lot about the world. Who could be more qualified when it comes to world peace?”

Jack Owen, a second year at Lincoln, said of Trup’s candidacy: “I think creative approaches to student politics is a great idea. Personally I think that OUSU and Arzoo being combined would be a great way to improve student engagement. It’s also quite a poor quality pun so would make a great quote for a silly student news story.”

Nominations for the presidency had not yet closed when The Oxford Student went to print, but three other candidates are expected to run for president – Jane Cahill, Alex Bartram and Nathan Akehurst.