Keble JCR has granted a bike-fixing student with a boiler suit this week to thank him for his work.
According to the unanimous motion, Greg Albery – a second-year Biology student – was “not born with bike duties, but had bike duties thrust upon him”.
The JCR motion also stated that the purchase of the boiler suit was justified because not only does “Greg suffers from dirtying himself with bike oil” but also “would look hot in a boiler suit”.
Albery said that he was “touched” and “really flattered” by the motion’s uncontested passing, and particularly by the JCR’s universal judgement that he would look attractive in his new suit.
He also said “it’s difficult to bring too many old clothes to uni” making the boiler suit “extremely useful as well as fashionable”.
According to other members of the Keble JCR, Albery never charges for his expertise or repairs, and advertises his services on the college noticeboard with instructions to bring faulty bikes to his accommodation.
Flo Barnett, a second-year studying History, and Albery’s proposer, said: “I was sick of Greg constantly complaining about nipple chafing from his tight t-shirts and getting oil on his designer jeans. At least now he never has an excuse to not wear a top.”
Sarah Poulten, an English finalist, agreed with Barnet and Albery, saying: “I’m incredibly proud that my (college) nephew has had such great recognition bestowed upon him. If college incest wasn’t so frowned upon, I’d spend all day gazing upon his bejumpsuited self across the bike racks.”
Albery is also an avid competitive cyclist, and has competed in several long-distance cycling tours across Europe. Rumours of the Tour de France abound.
Holly Meehan, a keen Keble cycling enthusiast, added to the jubilation: “A man should have clothes to work in, but as soon as he’s finished I’m going to rip them off and ride him like a bike.”