“May the Ox be ever in our favour”

The Hunger Games is on its way to Turl Street, after the Jesus JCR backed a proposal to employ the deathly method to allocate rooms.

The motion, which passed on Sunday of 1st week, was designed to rectify the “strife” caused by the “trials and tribulations” of the existing balloting system. The alternative system will now see “students fight for the right to their position within the ballot.”

The new “Hunger Games battle ballot” will be overseen by Jesus JCR president Leo Gebbie. It explicitly aims to both reduce “strife” and “costs” within the JCR.

The bulk of the cost reduction will come from losing candidates in the Games no longer being members of the JCR or, indeed, the living.

A further rationale for the motion is to simply provide “entertainment and welfare” to members of college.

Victors will also have the opportunity to become games masters and “unleash what torments they see fit.”

Student reaction to the passage of the motion was enthusiastic. Anna Boyle, a Jesus Chemist, said: “As a JCR member who often ends up at the bottom of the room ballot through no fault of my own, I welcome this new and more meritocratic system of allocating rooms while simultaneously streamlining the population of the JCR.”

The Darwinian element of the new policy appeared particularly popular. Matt Knight, a second-year French student, said: “I’m proud to be part of a JCR that takes active measures to improve the lives of students and supports natural selection.”

The possibility of an Oxford-related Hunger Games excited fans of the show. Charlotte Samuelson, a first year, quipped: “‘May the Ox be ever in our favour.”

The motion, proposed by Andrew Wilson, provoked significant debate at the meeting. Students were concerned of the potential unforeseen financial consequences: “What happens if someone dies in their flat, do others have to pay for their room?”

The answer was uncompromising: “Normally you should have to pay if someone drops out.”

The JCR also considered undertaking some of the Games at LaserQuest, and adding post-Games funeral costs to the JCR budget.

The motion passed 24 votes in favour to 14 against, with 5 members of the JCR abstaining.