Tom Rutland accused of abuse of power


Tom Rutland was last night accused of a ‘descent into madness’, with students and staff alleging that he has repeatedly abused the enormous power bestowed upon him by his elected office.

Rutland’s tenure has repeatedly seen him challenge the established boundaries of his constitutional prerogatives. Witnesses report that he moved the OUSU office stapler from a central area to his own private desk soon after he assumed the presidency, in a move which exceeded all traditional limitations to his executive capabilities. It has also been reported that the president has personally edited the office dress code without the usual six week period of consultation with the appropriate sub-committee. Critics claim that these decisions were a chilling power-play to display Rutland’s dominance.

“In retrospect, he started going weird from a few weeks in,” said one terrified OUSU insider, who begged piteously to remain anonymous. “As soon as the massive extent of his authority began to dawn on him, he started to change….” In sixth week of Michaelmas Term, the cackling president revealed that an enormous sculpture, depicting him in the act of drafting a memo on living costs, will be constructed at the St. Giles junction in celebration of his six month jubilee.

“Look, Tom Rutland is focussed on moving forward alongside students,” an OUSU spokesman told the Oxford Student yesterday. “And if it is indeed true that he has spent the entire Access budget on a golden crown and sceptre, then I’m sure he had his reasons.” Psychologists say that the president’s trajectory is typical of those being gradually corrupted by the monumental powers and privileges of high office. “It’s certainly troubling, but it’s hardly surprising,” said Dr. Earle Highbroke, a world-renowned expert on megalomaniacal personality disorders. “I mean, look at Margaret Thatcher by the end of her time in office; and she didn’t have Oriel JCR to deal with.”




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