Cocktails: bootleg bartending


Bored with Basics and too broke for Bollinger? Jessica Sinyor runs you through some budget blues to beat those fifth week blues

About midway through a Union debate on patriotism, I realised that I had used my membership for the first and last time. Having resolved that 2014 would be the year of doing things I actually enjoy, rather than things I feel I ought to find pleasant (goodbye art-house films, offal and lectures, hello Real Housewives and Wahoo), my Union card risked languishing at the back of my wallet alongside my gym card and Snappy Snaps loyalty voucher.

Like analogue film, Union membership was an expensive and pretentious hobby, and I was unwilling to lose all its benefits to my merciless cull of intellect. After discovering that whipping out my card at the Duke of Cambridge made every hour Happy Hour, I felt I had finally found some use for one white elephant in my growing graveyard of ‘worthwhile’ pastimes. The plastic photo of my smiling face was more likely to be smeared with sugar syrup than the grease from climbing the political ladder at the Union, and I was more likely to be gently passed out in Jericho than comatose in the debate chamber.

Nevertheless, with the weather taking a turn for the worse, and my overdraft taking a turn for the uncomfortably large, it is time for less artisanal alcohol and more DIY drinks in your bedroom. So take a break from the G & T-edium and enjoy some more inventive tipples with these recipes:

Amaretto Ambrosia

Like drinking marzipan, this cocktail combines the perfect level of depressant and stimulant, in a slightly classier form than the ubiquitous Jaegerbomb. Enjoy with biscotti and Pavarotti for a truly indulgent experience.

2 shots rum

2 shots amaretto

200ml almond milk

1 shot coffee



  1. Brew the coffee, and allow to cool
  2. Mix the amaretto, rum and coffee and add ice
  3. Pour the almond milk over the mixture


Pitch-perfect Prosecco

A friend recently described drinking this as akin to skipping through a field of flowers, and with the rain and misery of fifth week upon us there’s no better time to drink oneself into summertime oblivion. Crack open the cava, thumb through Lonely Planet, and start organising those trips. Note: side effects may include regrettable flights to far-flung places.

200ml Prosecco/ Cava/ anything carbonated to which your budget will extend

Handful of fresh mint leaves

50ml Elderflower Cordial


2 shots gin


  1. Muddle the ice, cucumber and cordial
  2. Add torn mint leaves
  3. Top up with Prosecco


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