Society needs some certain laws.

  For peace, the baddies must not spot flaws

  Or rules they’d bend,

  And then offend

  And get away scot-free in the end!

  But if we take a closer look

  At that respectable rule book

  We’d find that to convict for treason

  Some rules don’t seem to have much reason

  And still they remain each passing season!

  Take for example a postage stamp

  You stuck it on, no light or lamp

  On envelope, ‘twas upside down

  The British monarch. The law would frown.

  In Parliament House you felt unwell,

  A heart attack, and down you fell

  Illegal act! Off to the cell!

  He’s dead sir, so you might as well.

  In Scotland if a wanderer,

  Knocked on your door: begged to enter.

  For toilet trip, you must let him in.

  Even the man you knew would sin?

  Legally, a pregnant woman can,

  Relieve herself in a policeman’s

  Helmet! Or wherever she pleases

  Let’s hope we never see those squeezes.

  In York I’ve heard it is allowed

  To murder a Scotsman if he’s too loud

  Inside ancient city walls he must be,

  On him, bow and arrow you must see.

  If one day you felt paranoid

  Wore a suit of armour to avoid

  Those strangers who death stared you

  Entering Houses of Parliament would be illegal too!

  A woman topless is not permitted

  But in a tropical fish store it is admitted

  That that same woman, if a clerk she be

  From this illegal act she is free

  Who ever thought of all these laws?

  The creators I must applause

  For publishing their bizarre ideas

  In the rule book that all men fear

  Giving all lawyers and judges some small cheer.