Balliol bandit strikes in silence

College News News

A prolific milk thief, calling himself the “milk-bandit” is wreaking havoc in Balliol.

Earlier this week the “milk-bandit” struck in the kitchen on staircase 15 of the college, stealing a carton of semi-skimmed milk and leaving his victim an ominous note.  

The message reads: “Thank you for the milk. You will never find me. The Milk Bandit”.   

The victim of the crime, who cannot be named for legal reasons, warned: “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for more milk, I can tell you that I don’t have much left (after you drank it all).

“If you stop drinking my milk now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you.  But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you , and I will kill you”. 

The Milk Bandit was unavailable for comment and remains at large.