Every undergraduate student at Queen’s is to receive a life-size inflatable Mr Blobby following the unanimous passage of an emergency motion proposed at last week’s JCR meeting.
The scheme will be funded by means of an opt-out blobby levy, or ‘blevy’, on every member of the JCR.
The ‘blevy’ of two pounds, reduced from an original estimated cost of five pounds, will be added on to the battels of every student in the Queen’s JCR who neglected to email JCR Treasurer Matt Lewis to opt out.
In a circular sent to the entire JCR, Lewis heaped praise on Mr Blobby as “one of the most influential spotted things in the history of spotted things” who “once reduced a girl to tears during one of his shows” and is responsible for “the worst song in the history of recorded sound”.
The proposer of the original motion, third-year Biochemist Andy Russell, explained the reasoning behind the scheme: “Mr Blobby inflatables was [sic] initially conceived due to their popularity at the recent ‘90s bop.
“People liked them so much that they took them home with them and there weren’t any left at the end. It was clear that JCR members had a desire to own their own personal inflatable Mr. Blobby.”
However, the motion has stirred discontent among certain members of the JCR. One commented: “I had hoped this motion would generate some controversy, so was very dispirited to see it pass without objection.
“To rectify this, I’d just like to put on record that the JCR imposing levies for public goods is a form of slavery, like taxation and free healthcare; furthermore, I’d also like to point out that having a straight white cis man put into our pidges is an offensive reminder of the pervasiveness of the patriarchy.”