TRIGGER-HAPPY PROCTORS have pulled rank on undergraduate anti-subfusc campaigners by making it compulsory in all academic settings — with immediate effect.
A referendum on the traditional exam clothing had prompted debate among students over the continued legitimacy of subfusc.
But it would never have been binding — and now university authorities have put their foot down by re-extending subfusc to tutorials, collections, lectures, and even hall brunch.
Students who return to college in Trinity term and sit collections without subfusc have been threatened with rustication with the university seeking to lay down the law at the earliest opportunity.
Subfusc consists of a black gown atop either a dark suit or a white shirt with black ribbon accompanied by black skirt.
A source in the Proctors’ office said: “We’re not Brookes, are we? Jeez.”
St Peter’s fresher Madeleine Bakewurst commented: “It’s a joke. At my communist ‘gatherings’, we had no clothing requirements whatsoever. This smacks of the worst extremes of fascism to me.”
An alumnus who did not want to be named said: “I don’t actually know much about subfusc and stuff like that. But this definitely calls for some kind of barn dance in celebration. Ceilidh, anyone?”