Wahoo: an obituary

Wahoo, who tragically passed this weekend, was undeniably the real MVP of Oxford’s Holy Trinity (Park End and Bridge, obviously). Home to your weekly questionable last-minute decision (“I guess we could go out”), Wahoo made a name for itself through the dogged determination of the college Shuffle reps, desperate to plug ‘RETOX’ Fridays.

Despite its cramped smoking area and too-small-to-function elevated dance platform, a Friday night at Wahoo could be relied upon to always be, “yeah not bad”. Every week the club staunchly played an eclectic mix of hits which included, without fail, tracks such as ‘Mr. Brightside’, ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’ and, of course, ‘Wonderwall’. Resident DJ Ollie East was rewarded for his contribution to university life with an honorary membership of St Peter’s College JCR, a true testament to his talent.

In fact, the reach of Wahoo extended far beyond that of RETOX Fridays. On Wednesdays there was the notorious ‘Fuzzy Ducks’, once voted by FHM to be “the easiest place to pull in Europe”. To all of us who promised ourselves (or our friends at Brookes) we would eventually bail on Park End and make it to ‘Fuzzies’ – that opportunity is now a distant memory. Every Thursday a few hopeful Freshers, tempted by the inviting lack of queue, would escape the horrors of the swarm surrounding Bridge and make their way smugly to the entrance, only to emerge sheepishly minutes later to rejoin the line.

Wahoo even ventured into weekend clubbing, typically uncharted territory for your regular Oxford student night. Who could forget the attempt to push Saturday’s ‘GET LUCKY’, a charming evening which promised free entry and three free drinks to the club’s female patrons, a night which proved to be surprisingly unsuccessful.

Wahoo was not without its hidden talents. Amazingly, the venue was Oxford’s only nightclub which doubled (tripled?) up as both a comedy outfit and a sports bar. Wahoo Bar and Grill remains a mystery: “does anyone actually eat at Wahoo?”. The answer is yes: boasting four stars on TripAdvisor, Wahoo Bar and Grill has been praised for its pulled pork and skinny fries, culinary delights we’ll never now get to sample.

Wahoo is survived by Lolas, Park End and Bridge (for now).