Three people affected by OxStu website outage

Satire
Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual

 

A serious technical issue which began three weeks ago meant the Oxford Student’s website was inaccessible for several weeks, affecting an estimated three readers across the United Kingdom.

The cause of the outage has not been confirmed, but initial analysis points to a mixture of Russian and North Korean hackers, who presumably think the Oxford Student is a significant organisation which people care about. Links have also been made to Oxford Analytica, a data mining firm which has played a role in pretty much every nefarious political campaign of the past few years.

There was some speculation from commentators that the Cherwell was partially responsible, as their exclusive on the Oxford Union’s term card was being released at the same time. However, all allegations of this nature were dropped once it became apparent that the term card was thoroughly disappointing.