Image credit: Mike Knell

Tutors report surge in essay quality after weekend without Oxfess

Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual


Tutors across all departments and colleges have reported a great increase in both the quality and length of essays turned in by students since the fall of the popular Facebook page, Oxfess. Tutors in subjects as varied as biological sciences, oriental studies, and PPE, have all reported that while before the essays that their students would turn were poorly written, hastily researched, and shockingly short screeds that only vaguely resembled scholarship, they now get long essays, full of citations, critical thought, thorough reviews of the literature, and flowing prose.

“The change has been stunning” said Patricia Wheeler, a history tutor at St. Hilda’s college.

“It really is amazing, all the stuff relevant to my degree which is in these book things”

“I have student whose OxCort reports were full of 3rd class essays and predictions of failure, who now turn in essays which are good enough to be published. Just yesterday I had a student hand me an essay on the role of popular opinion in the passage of the Reform Act of 1832, and it read like a dream. Original, thoroughly researched, and showing a critical appraisal of the historiography. If this essay had been a final honours they could easily win the Gibbs Prize. And this is from a student that last week turned in an essay on working class conservatism under the premiership of the Duke of Wellington which was entirely plagiarised from the wikipedia page on Wellington, New Zealand”.

Students have also noticed that their workload improved. Second year Art Historian Lucas Baker, Worcester College, said that while before he would spend of his time refreshing the Oxfess and Oxlove pages in hope that reference to LB would come up, without his favourite activity he had been forced to actually read the books in the library.

Essay plagiarised from the Wikipedia page on Wellington, New Zealand

“It really is amazing, all the stuff relevant to my degree which is in these book things” said the student who had been citing textbooks whose covers looked vaguely artsy for the first half of his degree without reading them, and whose tutor had consistently predicted a third class or desmond degree since Hilary of his first year”

The effect has been felt less in science subjects, where students have problem sheets instead of essays. Why that is the case is unknown, however several students have suggested the fact that they have contact hours and the problem sheets where you can be wrong may be a factor.

As of press, Oxfess is once again online, and the quality of Oxford student essays have once again fallen to their usual, comfortable mediocre status, which is just barely good enough to scrape the 2.1 needed for a job after uni.