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Wadham College in angst over discovery of Tory Brexiteer in their midst

Satire
Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual. This article has been amended as a previous version didn’t live up to our standards. We apologise for any distress caused.

 

Maud Collins, a third year classicist at Wadham College, was recently discovered to be politically conservative, supporting both the Conservative Party and Brexit.

 

News of a tory Brexiteer being in the midst of the college has caused considerable angst amongst members of the college community

 

News of a tory Brexiteer being in the midst of the college has caused considerable angst amongst members of the college community. Simon Hardwick, the head tutor in charge of welfare, has said that over a dozen students have asked to have consultations with him about the stress of having to live in the same community and building as someone who could be so cold hearted and heinous as to vote Conservative.

A statement from the Warden of Wadham’s Office read, in part, that “We at Wadham value all forms of diversity, including national, spiritual, sexual, gender, racial, and even political. Though we do not agree with Mrs. Collins choice of political persuasion, and believe it to be contrary to everything Wadham stands for, we as a community must stay strong and tolerate, even if we cannot respect, the decisions of those we disagree with within Wadham”.

 

There were other Tories in Wadham, but that most of them hide it by “pretending to be Liberal Democrats”

 

When pressed for comment, Mrs. Collins said that she was surprised by the furor, saying that “Nearly half the country votes Tory, a majority voted for Brexit. I fail to see how any of those could be controversial or frowned upon in Wadham”. She also said that there were other Tories in Wadham, but that most of them hide it by “pretending to be Liberal Democrats”, and that as far as she knew, no other Leave voters attend Wadham.