SUNDAY ROASTS: CAN WE GO YET?

Sunday Roast is satirical and should not be taken as defamatory, nor does it reflect any political stance of the Oxford Student.

It’s seventh week and Rordon’s tired. Oxford is doing its best to convince him that it’s already the Christmas vac, and despite the huge mountains of work piling up, he just can’t get out of his post fifth week slump. And so, once again, Rordon has been left asking that perennial question: “Can we go yet?”

 

NO WAY: CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY

Oxford has been full of surprises for Rordon this week. On Thursday, after a heavy night at Park End, he woke up to find, in his hungover state, that Broad Street was covered in little market stalls blasting Mariah Carey at maximum volume. If Mariah Carey was playing, this could mean only one thing… no way… had Rordon… slept until December? In shock, Rordon checked his phone. Oh. It was just the next day. Apparently Oxford just has no respect for Mariah Carey’s singular month of relevance. Merry Oxmas, he supposes?

 

BREAKING: UNION SETS GOOD EXAMPLE

The Union has this week set a perfect example to a large group of schoolchildren about the wonders of politics. After inviting them along on Thursday to witness a debate full of brilliant speeches and interesting discussions, the Union decided that rather than pretend British politics is nice and well-structured and mimic that, they’d give the students a real flavour of what politics is like.

To that end, they organised an impeachment motion for someone who’d not shown up for their job, let the person actually trying to make change within the institution argue their case and then painted said person as the villain. Rordon thinks this was a brilliant example of modern British politics and commends the Union for their fine representation of Oxford. Rordon only hopes that the students involved won’t be discouraged from applying.

 

WOW: OXFORD HAS LIBRARIES?

Rordon made an incredible discovery this week. Apparently that huge round building in the middle of Oxford is not simply a nice background for all of your pre-formal photos to slap across your Facebook page to prove you go to Oxford, but actually a library. Rordon stumbled across this purely by accident, when he discovered that said building had a door and, tailgating a fellow student, made his way in. Upon entering, he was taken aback entirely by the beautiful interiors, but was surprised by how low the ceiling was for such a huge building. He supposes it must be one of those illusion-y buildings.

(Ed. Rordon has yet to discover the Upper RadCam. We’ve not told him because we’re running an office-wide sweepstake on how long it will take him.)

 

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