Blane's Style Files

Blane’s Style Files: What Your Favourite Online Clothes Retailer Says About You

ASOS:

You’re popular but reliable. If someone needs you then you’ll be right there to sort everything out. However, outside of your friendships to others, you’re often hard on yourself. Maybe take some time to work on yourself this weekend and practise some self-care.

Your Style: Comfortable but colourful

Depop:

Wow, you’re so trendy! You always look great, but you’re kind of mean. Maybe lighten up a bit, stop taking everything so seriously and stop hiding behind your vintage thrifted Y2K cottagecore grunge goth emo punk gorpcore blokecore dark academia softgirl e-girl preppy aesthetic persona. And stop mansplaining sustainability to me while you’re at it.

Your Style: Master of Micro-Trends

Vinted:

You’re just like the Depop users, but even more in the know on how to get a bargain. You’re amazing at giving advice, know loads of cool tips and tricks, and have endless patience no matter what the world throws at you. Everyone needs a friend like you!

Your Style: Timeless and chic

Boohoo:

You’re one of those people that just can’t seem to catch a break. No matter how hard you try, things don’t go your way, to the point that you sometimes wonder if you’re cursed. Despite it all, you always seem optimistic – your glass is half full, even if it is about to fall off the table.

Your Style: Cool and contemporary

College/Society Stash Shops:

You’re really dedicated to your cause and (I assume) unimaginably proud to be a part of St Edmund Hall or Merton College or the Law Society or the Antique Cutlery Appreciation Society or whatever. There’s nothing wrong with that, but please stop mentioning it in every conversation.

Your Style: CEO of College Puffers

Ebay:

You are utterly insane and slightly off putting, but that’s not your fault. You’re never afraid to make bold and daring decisions even if others don’t agree with them. Forever a paragon of independence, it’s your way or the highway!

Your Style: Eclectic and original

StockX:

I bet you think you’re so funny and so clever and so interesting, don’t you? Well, you’re not! And I bet your favourite movie is The Wolf of Wall Street, isn’t it?

Your Style: Streetwear

Net-A-Porter:

You’re a bit of a snob, but the annoying type of snob that really is better than other people in some way or another. In terms of clothes, you’ve got something from every luxury fashion brand known to mankind, and then some that even the most avid of catwalk watchers have never heard of.

Your Style: Brand names everywhere

The Oxfam Website:

You’re lazy and annoying, but in an endearing sort of way. As much as you love to spend time with your friends, you’d never say no to a quiet night in to recharge your social batteries.

Your Style: Geography teacher gone wild.

Vestiaire Collective:

You love the finer things in life, but no matter how hard you try, you’ve never been good at saving money and budgeting. Some people think that you’re too judgemental, but what’s wrong with having high standards and not wanting to settle?

Your Style: Expensive and elegant

Shein:

I hate you.