Rordon can only apologise for the lateness of the Sunday Roast this week. The Editors in Chief got very upset with Rordon when he tried to write a Sunday Roast in which he implied that the Union committee had committed human rights abuses and were bigger criminals than the ambassadors who visited last week. Rordon has been, uh, told that he must make it very clear that he draws absolutely no similarities between the ambassadors of Israel, the UAE, and Bahrain and the Union committee, and that he does not think the Union committee are learning from them. Oh well.


It’s torpids, and Rordon is excited. It’s not about wearing his favourite lycra, or even the sadistic pain of rowing, but the rather peculiar method of racing. “We’ve done 6 bumps today and I’m feeling great”, he told OxYou, “just two more and I might even make it to Atik”. Fair to say, Rordon was pretty out of it the next morning. 






In other Union news this week, Oxford had a celebrity guest visit from a celebrated champagne- ahem, campaign socialist, who’s currently promoting his new book. 

When Rordon posed the challenging questions, the politician’s spokesperson had answers. 

“I think it’s shocking that people would accuse this book as having been written by the 1%. It’s a slap in the face to our team of minimum wage ghostwriters who’ve weathered some horrible working conditions to put this project together,” Rordon was told.

When quizzed on whether Marx and Engels would have recorded an Amazon audiobook of their work and sold it for $20, the spokesperson responded, “It was a very different time back then. But if we want to talk accessibility, Marx was writing his piece in German. That’s not accessible to anyone over in America. Our book, on the other hand is going to be published in 110 different languages. It’s going to guarantee us millions in… satisfied readers.”