Oxford's biggest student newspaper, produced by and for members of the University of Oxford, since 1991.
Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Disturbing reports have emerged regarding the activities of an unsuccessful candidate for Standing Committee following Friday’s elections. Oliver Greatwood of New College was widely expected to miss out on a position after polling far behind his […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual First year Earth Scientist and members of the Oxford Union, Samantha McGregor, Worcester College, voted in the Oxford Union in Friday’s elections based on a careful reading of the manifestos of the various candidates, and, after […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Harriet Villiers, a third year PPEist at Balliol, actually learnt a new fact in the course of her degree at Oxford. The 22 year old, studying a notorious doss degree for people clever enough to sound […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Since its founding in 1826, the Oxford Union has been a staunch defender of free speech and debate. Over the years it has been willing to debate many controversial motions, such as whether this country would […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual. This article has been amended as a previous version didn’t live up to our standards. We apologise for any distress caused. Maud Collins, a third year classicist at Wadham College, was recently discovered to be politically […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Researchers at the University’s Department of Life Sciences have had a breakthrough in political biology, successfully instilling principles into a human being without compromising on its support for the Liberal Democrats. A highly complex mix of […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Brendan Peters, a 4rd year engineering student from St. Catherine’s, has been recently making an absolute ponce of himself at political events across Oxford. The arrogant 21 year old from Surrey has recently started to attend […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Hunting – as can be expected from these seasons – continues amongst the Hackius Unionus. In the ongoing struggle for control of the ancient grounds, the old bear bats away opposition, with more of the herd […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Tutors across all departments and colleges have reported a great increase in both the quality and length of essays turned in by students since the fall of the popular Facebook page, Oxfess. Tutors in subjects as […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual In this age of human reason, the brutality of the beasts of this ecosystem never ceases to astound. At the centre of the environs, the ancient and hallowed hunting grounds witnesses the most truly hair-raising encounters […]
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The nearby traffic instills an immediate cold and biting atmosphere. The location creates a large an obvious deviation from a bench’s usual setting, but somehow, amongst the noise and chaos, the result is harmony. Few things are superior to sitting down in general. But whilst sitting on this bench, One can almost feel the gravitas […]
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James Smith, a St Edmund Hall fresher, has caused an uproar within the college after announcing that he has forsaken the single life for the comfort of going steady with an unnamed female student he met at fuzzy ducks last week. One source said ‘It’s difficult to express how gutted I am. The chat, antics […]
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A motion passed yesterday by the Wadham JCR means students of the College must attend all future bops stark naked. The motion, proposed by History of Art second-year Alice Rowling, initially insisted that only costumes should be banned, because “the ability of students from richer backgrounds to afford […]
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In a recent excursion to the harsh environment that is home to the Hackius, I have observed a stark change in contenders for positions as alpha in a number of packs. One such change is in the previously endangered Hackius Memelo: the odd beasts of this group appear to have re-emerged as a viable species […]
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After months of aggressive stalking, last week the Oxford Student eventually managed to land a one-off interview with Cornmarket Street. In a rare exclusive interview, we found him enjoying the weather having a vegan falafel wrap off in Christchurch Meadow, donning some trendy sunglasses, a sleeveless top, and a classic NY cap. Here’s what went […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual A serious technical issue which began three weeks ago meant the Oxford Student’s website was inaccessible for several weeks, affecting an estimated three readers across the United Kingdom. The cause of the outage has not been […]
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[Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual] In light of recent exposés that the Oxford Union is dominated by people who went to the most elite and expensive schools in the country, a spokesperson has decided to issue a statement saying that the prestigious debating […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual OFO has unveiled plans to trial its new self-riding bike scheme in Oxford next month. The bicycles will come with large helmets carrying several cameras and advanced AI software. They will also be fitted with a […]
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