Oxford's biggest student newspaper, produced by and for members of the University of Oxford, since 1991.
The Prime Minister, after returning to work following his recovery from Covid-19, has once again proved a beacon of hope and, as he settles back into Downing Street, has proposed a new quarantine initiative: ‘Bojo’s cut above; Best Barnetts for Britain.’ Known for sporting a ‘frosti blonde textured do’, the Prime Minister’s quintessential cut has […]
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Reader, you would be forgiven for making the egregious mistake that ‘BNOC’ is a ‘one size fits all’ label. If you’re unlucky enough to be friends with one, you would be well acquainted with an impromptu trip to Hassan’s becoming a small meet and greet. If you’re even luckier, you may not even know what […]
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Image credit: Loz Pycock (Flickr) Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Members of the Oxford University Revolutionary Marxist Association were shocked to see a working class student in their midst at their inaugural meeting for the new academic year. The group, which is […]
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Image credit: Wikipedia Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual For five centuries, Christ Church has been an imposing bulwark of Oxford’s academic and religious tradition. Now that is all going to change. A buyout of the College and Cathedral by an independent organisation, […]
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Image credit: Pexels Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual A returning second-year at New College has caused drastic problems for the accommodation department by growing out his beard over the vac, The Oxford Student can report. Magnus Pogon (19) has now accumulated a […]
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Image Credit: Fittoprint (Public Domain) Note: the articles that follow are works of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Fresher too scared to ask for fob; now living in woods A Magdalen Fresher has lost his fob and is now living in the college’s deer park, OxStu can exclusively reveal James Hobbes, who […]
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Image Credit: The Oxford Student Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual A new scientific survey of the student populace of the University of Oxford has discovered that not a single current undergraduate of the university who is not directly involved with the satire section […]
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Image Credit: Decan Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Clubs and societies that are known across the University for destroying the social life of their members have been gleefully preparing for the arrival of fresh meat to replenish their ranks. Societies such as […]
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Image Credit: Albert kok Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual The River Cherwell has become infested with the yearly migration of the endemic species of shark, Pistris oxoniensis. The species, which has been known to migrate in early October up the rivers of the […]
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Image Credit: Photo © Jonathan Billinger (cc-by-sa/2.0) Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Academics have been banned from the university, after a decision unanimously agreed by senior management and student representatives. While academics have traditionally been considered a necessary part of a university, […]
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Image Credit: Sampson Low (CC BY 2.0) Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual After attempting to read the whole of Edmund Spenser’s “The Faerie Queene” over the summer vacation, English undergraduate Heather Barnet is no longer able to speak normally. Barnet was trying […]
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Image Credit: Steve Eason (CC BY 2.0) Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Having complained about some British minorities’ inability to understand “English irony,” Jeremy Corbyn now intends to give a series of lectures on the different forms of British humour, the Office […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Disturbing reports have emerged regarding the activities of an unsuccessful candidate for Standing Committee following Friday’s elections. Oliver Greatwood of New College was widely expected to miss out on a position after polling far behind his […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual First year Earth Scientist and members of the Oxford Union, Samantha McGregor, Worcester College, voted in the Oxford Union in Friday’s elections based on a careful reading of the manifestos of the various candidates, and, after […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Harriet Villiers, a third year PPEist at Balliol, actually learnt a new fact in the course of her degree at Oxford. The 22 year old, studying a notorious doss degree for people clever enough to sound […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Since its founding in 1826, the Oxford Union has been a staunch defender of free speech and debate. Over the years it has been willing to debate many controversial motions, such as whether this country would […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual. This article has been amended as a previous version didn’t live up to our standards. We apologise for any distress caused. Maud Collins, a third year classicist at Wadham College, was recently discovered to be politically […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Researchers at the University’s Department of Life Sciences have had a breakthrough in political biology, successfully instilling principles into a human being without compromising on its support for the Liberal Democrats. A highly complex mix of […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Brendan Peters, a 4rd year engineering student from St. Catherine’s, has been recently making an absolute ponce of himself at political events across Oxford. The arrogant 21 year old from Surrey has recently started to attend […]
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