Oxford's biggest student newspaper, produced by and for members of the University of Oxford, since 1991.
Sarah Alford challenges the popular perception of the clubbing scene I went to a Freshers’ clubbing night on Wednesday. Not the sort of anecdote I expected to be telling, for I would ascribe the same amount of enjoyment experienced on a night out as to what I feel during collections I haven’t revised for. But […]
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It was another cold afternoon in the fridge. Danish Pastry was chilling alone on his shelf, which was just how he liked it. He enjoyed being the pastry with all the secrets. The stupid humans had left him in there over night. He laughed and lit a cigarette. No flakey crust for them. Things […]
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There is nothing I want more in the world right now than one of the pyjama suits worn in ‘Spooky Mormon Hell Dream’. The red, Grinch-like, pointy-toed costumes look cosy as well as fashionable. This dance number was accompanied by some of the most evil people from throughout history performing sex acts on each other […]
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Image credit: Loz Pycock (Flickr) Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Members of the Oxford University Revolutionary Marxist Association were shocked to see a working class student in their midst at their inaugural meeting for the new academic year. The group, which is […]
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Image credit: Wikipedia Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual For five centuries, Christ Church has been an imposing bulwark of Oxford’s academic and religious tradition. Now that is all going to change. A buyout of the College and Cathedral by an independent organisation, […]
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Image credit: Pexels Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual A returning second-year at New College has caused drastic problems for the accommodation department by growing out his beard over the vac, The Oxford Student can report. Magnus Pogon (19) has now accumulated a […]
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Image Credit: Fittoprint (Public Domain) Note: the articles that follow are works of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Fresher too scared to ask for fob; now living in woods A Magdalen Fresher has lost his fob and is now living in the college’s deer park, OxStu can exclusively reveal James Hobbes, who […]
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Image Credit: The Oxford Student Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual A new scientific survey of the student populace of the University of Oxford has discovered that not a single current undergraduate of the university who is not directly involved with the satire section […]
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Image Credit: Decan Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Clubs and societies that are known across the University for destroying the social life of their members have been gleefully preparing for the arrival of fresh meat to replenish their ranks. Societies such as […]
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Image Credit: Photo © Jonathan Billinger (cc-by-sa/2.0) Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Academics have been banned from the university, after a decision unanimously agreed by senior management and student representatives. While academics have traditionally been considered a necessary part of a university, […]
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Image Credit: Sampson Low (CC BY 2.0) Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual After attempting to read the whole of Edmund Spenser’s “The Faerie Queene” over the summer vacation, English undergraduate Heather Barnet is no longer able to speak normally. Barnet was trying […]
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Image Credit: Steve Eason (CC BY 2.0) Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Having complained about some British minorities’ inability to understand “English irony,” Jeremy Corbyn now intends to give a series of lectures on the different forms of British humour, the Office […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Disturbing reports have emerged regarding the activities of an unsuccessful candidate for Standing Committee following Friday’s elections. Oliver Greatwood of New College was widely expected to miss out on a position after polling far behind his […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual First year Earth Scientist and members of the Oxford Union, Samantha McGregor, Worcester College, voted in the Oxford Union in Friday’s elections based on a careful reading of the manifestos of the various candidates, and, after […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Harriet Villiers, a third year PPEist at Balliol, actually learnt a new fact in the course of her degree at Oxford. The 22 year old, studying a notorious doss degree for people clever enough to sound […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Since its founding in 1826, the Oxford Union has been a staunch defender of free speech and debate. Over the years it has been willing to debate many controversial motions, such as whether this country would […]
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‘Oh! I am quite delighted with the book! I should like to spend my whole life in reading it,’ Catherine Morland, the heroine of Northanger Abbey, confesses to her friend Isabella, speaking of Ann Radcliffe’s Gothic masterpiece The Mysteries of Udolpho. And while Isabella repeatedly tries to move the conversation away from the novel – […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual. This article has been amended as a previous version didn’t live up to our standards. We apologise for any distress caused. Maud Collins, a third year classicist at Wadham College, was recently discovered to be politically […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Researchers at the University’s Department of Life Sciences have had a breakthrough in political biology, successfully instilling principles into a human being without compromising on its support for the Liberal Democrats. A highly complex mix of […]
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