Oxford's biggest student newspaper, produced by and for members of the University of Oxford, since 1991.
Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Harriet Villiers, a third year PPEist at Balliol, actually learnt a new fact in the course of her degree at Oxford. The 22 year old, studying a notorious doss degree for people clever enough to sound […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Since its founding in 1826, the Oxford Union has been a staunch defender of free speech and debate. Over the years it has been willing to debate many controversial motions, such as whether this country would […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual. This article has been amended as a previous version didn’t live up to our standards. We apologise for any distress caused. Maud Collins, a third year classicist at Wadham College, was recently discovered to be politically […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Researchers at the University’s Department of Life Sciences have had a breakthrough in political biology, successfully instilling principles into a human being without compromising on its support for the Liberal Democrats. A highly complex mix of […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual Brendan Peters, a 4rd year engineering student from St. Catherine’s, has been recently making an absolute ponce of himself at political events across Oxford. The arrogant 21 year old from Surrey has recently started to attend […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual In this age of human reason, the brutality of the beasts of this ecosystem never ceases to astound. At the centre of the environs, the ancient and hallowed hunting grounds witnesses the most truly hair-raising encounters […]
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James Smith, a St Edmund Hall fresher, has caused an uproar within the college after announcing that he has forsaken the single life for the comfort of going steady with an unnamed female student he met at fuzzy ducks last week. One source said ‘It’s difficult to express how gutted I am. The chat, antics […]
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A motion passed yesterday by the Wadham JCR means students of the College must attend all future bops stark naked. The motion, proposed by History of Art second-year Alice Rowling, initially insisted that only costumes should be banned, because “the ability of students from richer backgrounds to afford […]
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In a recent excursion to the harsh environment that is home to the Hackius, I have observed a stark change in contenders for positions as alpha in a number of packs. One such change is in the previously endangered Hackius Memelo: the odd beasts of this group appear to have re-emerged as a viable species […]
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[Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual] In light of recent exposés that the Oxford Union is dominated by people who went to the most elite and expensive schools in the country, a spokesperson has decided to issue a statement saying that the prestigious debating […]
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Note: the article that follows is a work of satire, and therefore should not be taken as factual In a report examining the effect of lecturers going on strike in Hilary term, researchers from Oxford University’s Academic Administration Division have claimed that the impact on the studies of those taking humanities subjects was non-existent. […]
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In my time observing the Hackius Hackius, I have observed some fascinating behaviour in how the competition for the position of ‘alpha’ takes place. It is a dangerous process, and one that seems to consume the majority of the Hackius’s time, but for those that manage it, the rewards are plentiful. The most prominent contests […]
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Over the past year, I have been amongst a community of beasts in the jungles of the Oxford political scene. These animals roam the streets and halls of Oxford, visible for all to see – dangerous if treated wrongly, but greatly enriching if approached carefully. I speak, of course, of the noble Hack: creatures belonging […]
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